As a public service to the single guys and gals out there, from time to time I will feature special guest posts on dating. Today I'm happy to showcase our first "Date from Hell" segment from a blogger who wishes to remain anonymous. Enjoy her hell. Be glad it wasn't your own.
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She met him at the club. She was supposed to be meeting a girlfriend that night. Right before meeting him she'd run into a Potential who asked her out to dance. She said, "In a minute, let me finish my beer. I'll be over there," while she pointed to a nice spot. Seconds after seating herself,
he came over and asked her to dance. She told him no. He asked if he could have a seat. She said, "Suit yourself." Then she continued texting friends while waiting on her girlfriend to arrive or the Potential to swing by and take her out on the dancefloor. Instead,
he spilled his beer, forcing her to put away her cell phone before it went to its beery grave. While they both attempted to clean up
his mess, the Potential walked by. Noticing her with
him, he kept walking. Darn.
Trying to be nice, she conversed with
him. She then met his friends. Nice friends. Hm. Maybe she should hang out with them for a while. At the end of the night he asked for her number and a dinner/movie date on Friday. SHE SAID YES.
Night of the date:
He asked her where she wanted to go. She said he was inviting, he should pick. Her only request: that they meet each other halfway so neither would have a long drive. He called back and said they should meet in a certain location. 30 minutes away from her. 10 minutes away from him. That's not what she meant, but she politely agreed. He suggested she call when she left her place so they could decide exactly where they'd meet. When she called he told her to meet him at the movies. 3 minutes away from his apartment. 35 minutes away from hers. Sigh.
When she got there he was not in sight. She called him. He was
still home and said she was early and he would be there soon. While she waited she checked on the movie time. The next movie would not start for two more hours. When he arrived she told him. (She had passed five other movie theaters on her long trek to this one. This was not the only movie in town.) She had previously told him that she wanted to have an early night and inwardly wasn't pleased that the movie wouldn't start until 10:30 PM.
He asked her if she'd eaten. She said no, they were supposed to be going out to dinner. He'd already eaten. Pizza. He took her to a taco place 15 minutes away. She tried the chips and salsa and almost died. He said that she must not eat spicy food. He was wrong. She was insulted.
He then asked if she walked in the park. She said no. He wanted to know why and said that she should start. This despite the fact that she was in much better physical shape than he and she works out almost every day (except for the past few weeks, thank you very much).
He asked her why her Spanish was so bad. Then he became insulted when she asked him why his (almost nonexistent and impossible to understand) English was so bad.
While eating, he told her she was very pretty. She told him thank you. He told her she must have had a lot of boyfriends before. Puzzled, she told him she had had a few. Then he said she must have been prettier when she was young. Of course he must have said this because she was obviously an old hag now. Long scraggly gray hairs, sagging body parts, flesh hanging off her face, wrinkles galore. Was he trying to be insulting or was he just clueless?
After eating, she drove them back to the theater. He then proceed to tell her that she parked incorrectly. Too far out, judging by the vehicle to their right. Um, actually she parked perfectly. He then continued to compare her parking to that of the vehicle to the right. She insisted that he get out to check
her parking, not the other vehicle's. Yes, she was parked fine. Sigh.
Inside, they proceed directly to the movie. She had been sick and would have appreciated something to drink during the 2 1/2 hour-long movie. Only after being seated for five minutes did he ask if she
needed anything from the concession stand. No, thank you. She would rather hack out her throat and die.
After midnight, someone started blowing up
his iPhone. The picture on the screen was his mother's face. Either it was his mother or it was someone else who he had put his mother's face on. Either way, it was bad news. She made no comment.
The movie finally finished. After one o'clock in the morning. So much for an early night. She still had to drive half an hour to get home. He moved in for the good night kiss. He got a firm handshake instead. (Atta girl!)
On the way home she got a text from him. The tow truck had picked up someone's vehicle at his apartment complex and he asked her to call for him. Unsure why she should call if he'd been taking English classes and was apparently proficient in English, she agreed. After arriving home at almost two in the morning she then proceeded to make several calls to the tow company. What a night.